Embracing My Inner Bitch
Is there something better than being likable?
Do you ever have days when you recognize it's time to take your power back? Maybe you've dropped into some of your old victim-y behaviors and patterns, or you're feeling low energy, and uninspired and you don't know why....
When this comes up for me, I know it's time to connect to my inner Bitch. My bitch helps me get my fire back.
Some women are really uncomfortable with this word, and I can understand why that might be, but there is something deeply powerful about taking this word and adopting it into a sacred context.
The word Bitch has been used to keep women in line for hundreds of years, and as long as we are scared of it, we are letting it take our power.
It's held over our head as a warning of what will happen if we tread outside the culturally accepted norms for female behavior, especially if that behavior is assertive, direct, “overly” confident, abrupt, or abrasive in any way. If we engage in that behavior then we run the risk of being labeled “Bitch”, and what that means is that we will commit the ultimate female sin which is to be "unlikable".
To be likable at all costs is the message we receive from our culture.
However the cost is high.
The cost is:
Our true opinion and genius
Our unique contribution
Our creative fire
Our power fully expressed
We sacrifice our true self in order to be liked, and accepted by the pack. When we do this all of our assertiveness gets channeled inwards towards ourselves instead of out into the world.
This can show up as feelings of low energy, a lack of inspiration, disconnection to your intuition, and low libido and sex drive, In extreme cases this leads to disease (esp autoimmune disorders, depression, anxiety, eating disorders, and even self mutilation in some young women).
But what happens if we take that word back, and decide we’re actually Ok with being labeled the B word?
There are certain moments when I discover that I have fallen once again into the trap of being the "likable Amanda”, at the cost of experiencing myself really running at my full gait and in my most empowered expression. I recently had one of those days!
When this happens it is incredibly healing and empowering for me to choose to embrace my inner divine bitch.
BTW- Our inner bitch IS DIVINE - she is a sacred part of our feminine expression. She is a face of our Warrior Goddess, and she holds the key to unlocking so much of our power, and genius. (In the next installment I will share with you that naming an unruly woman after a female dog may have started with Artemis - the huntress Goddess from ancient Greek mythology.)
To embrace my Bitch is to walk tall and firmly, to express myself clearly, to not shy away from confrontation, and to not pepper all my exchanges with smiles. In essence, giving myself permission to not be liked.
It can be empowering to choose to walk like a “bitch”, talk like a “bitch”, and just be a bit bad ass. To embrace your bitch may feel like you are being naughty. like you are being a bad girl. Embrace that bad girl you, sister! My guess is she has been stuffed down way too long.
Stay tuned to learn more about the history of the word Bitch, and it's connection to women's sexuality, as well as our insubordinate behavior. I'll also share some tools to help you call on your inner Bitch, and I'll explain the difference between the Wounded Bitch and the Divine Bitch.
It’s time to be Fierce AND Feminine Ladies! (And Bitchy in the best way!)
Also check out below to find out about my live events here in LA where we will explore the Warrior Goddess in person.