A couple of years ago I flew from New York out to California to pay a visit to a new lover. We spent several days together in romantic bliss, and on night two he told me he didn’t trust me.
We were lying in bed and he flipped me on my back and said, “You know I don’t entirely trust you. You feel like so much light, and bright, and butterflies, and rainbows, that I can’t fully trust you. There is something you are not bringing to the surface. Something you are masking. Your darkness. Your power, Your shadow. Your Warrior Goddess.” He was familiar with my work with the 3 Goddess powers, and he called me out using my own work “against” me. The Compassionate and the Sensual Goddess energies have always been easier for me to embody and express in my life. They fit with the identity I had constructed. But the Warrior Goddess is the one I always have to put more conscious attention on bringing out, and allowing to surface.
This was the first time a lover had ever reflected this to me. This was a very healing moment because it was the first time I realized that a man could find that part of me desirable, and beyond that, I realized that it was actually necessary for me to embrace this part of myself if I was going to have the kind of relationship I really wanted with a mature, conscious, passionate man.
In my previous relationships I had been with men who had idealized me, put me on a pedestal, and considered me a princess and a goddess in the more innocent sense. But now it was time for me to step into being a Queen, and own the mature Goddess energy. I was finally stepping into a place where I was becoming ready to be with a King. All of the men i had been with previously were not exactly Kings. They were very special and loving men, but they were not accessing their full power. Recognizing this in my fiancee is what ultimately caused me to walk away from a really loving and nurturing relationship. I couldn’t commit my life to being with someone who would energetically keep me from accessing my fullest power. I wanted MORE. I wanted to experience that level of love and nurturing in a context where I could also be ALL of me; wild, powerful infinite me.
And then I found myself being called out by a man who wanted to see all my fury, all my wildness, all my darkness, all my power. He wanted to call forth the dragon queen within me. When he said those words it was like a spell was broken, and I suddenly was free. We spent the next several days in a steamy, erotic, loving, beating, wild animal wrestling match. And I discovered a deeper level of assertiveness in my sexuality than I had ever accessed with my lovers in the past. He had called out the wild cat within me that was just waiting for permission.
A strong man wants to be met by a strong woman. He wants to be with a woman who it feels safe for him to express his full range.
It was eye opening for me to recognize that the Warrior Goddess can be a key to better sex, and better relations in the bedroom. We associate the Sensual Goddess with this of course because she is known for governing women’s sexual and sensual energy.
Not only from my own experience, but by watching the women go through my course over the years, I have discovered a deep appreciation for how the fierce warrior goddess energy can be an important key in unlocking a woman’s sexuality.
I can remember a woman who we will call “Janet” who took my course a couple of years ago, and told her husband that she wanted to do it so that she would become more “sexy”. Her husband said, “OK - I will tell you if you become more sexy”. So we did the Sensual part of the course and she felt really good, and opened up, but nothing from her partner. Then when we got to the 2nd week of the warrior Goddess, and started embodying the energy of Kali, she got in touch with her anger. She started laying down the law in the kitchen, protecting her boundaries, speaking her truth, and waking up her fire. And then one night when she was simply dressed in a t shirt and jeans, and she and her husband went out for dinner, he grabbed her as she stepped out of the car and said “honey - I don’t know what’s gong on but you are definitely becoming more sexy!” She was flabbergasted that it was the Warrior Goddess energy which got that reflection from her husband.
I’ve seen this with a lot of women who are feeling sexually shut down or disconnected when they start to work with me. The Fierce energy gets the sexual energy to start moving again.
The Sensual Goddess energy is liquid. most everyone one of these Goddesses is associated with a body of water. They are river and ocean Goddesses. When we engage this energy there is a fluidity and flow in our energy and movement. Our sexual organs feel open and wet.
The Warrior Goddess energy is fire. If there isn’t enough fire happening, the fluid of the sensual Goddess can become frozen. When that energy becomes frozen then there is a shut down. The energy doesn’t flow, and we can feel numb in that area or not as awakened and in touch with all of the sensation there.
These energies work together. The fluid of the Sensual Goddess can be like lighter fluid to stoke the fire of the warrior Goddess.
Apply the Fierce Goddess in Your Life
If you are wanting to feel more feminine and sexy, although it may feel counterintuitive, it may be a good time to engage your fierce energy.
Rather than focusing directly on feeling sexy or feminine, see what happens if you get connected to your fiery emotions. Is there anger that you are sitting on which is freezing your Sensual Goddess energy? Allow yourself to become more assertive. Step with more authority, and purpose, dance your fire energy, try doing a little punching or yelling.
One way to get this fierce sensual fire pumping is the get on your hands and knees like a lioness or tigress, and do some breath of fire, and then some breath of fire making sound like “ha ha ha ha” forcefully, and then allow some of that energy flow through your body. After you pull up the fire, you can do some of the wild cow movements to bring the fluidity and flow into the motion.
Goddess Spotlight: Sekhmet
Fierce Lioness Goddess from Egypt
She is an intensely fiery and ferocious Goddess who lays down the law, and is not afraid to drop into her primal energy. Call on her to protect your boundaries, feel more feline like, and powerful and sexy with a strong hint of mystery and otherworldly magic.
Have fun playing with your Sensual Warrior Woman this week and see what gets called in! And if you are in the LA area, please join us for the Temple of The Fierce Goddess at Full Circle next week!