Do you ever notice yourself shrinking or trying to play down your femininity, your sensuality or body because you are afraid of being seen as too sexy or getting too much attention?
Yesterday I was wearing one of my favorite sun dresses,and I noticed when I pulled the dress on that my breasts were sitting very prominently in the neckline. Kind of perfectly placed in a way that might draw a little attention.
When I bought this dress a few years ago, I had smaller breasts. In the past few years my breasts have grown, in large part, I believe, to the increased feminine energy running through my system from the goddess work which has made my body more womanly.
I noticed as I rode my bike around town, that a lot of energy was being directed towards my breasts.
Some of it appreciative energy, and some of it pinched, contracted, and shameful energy. I was getting some glances from men, and also some disapproving or uncomfortable looks from some women. And I noticed that there was subtely running through my system some guilt, shame, and embarrasement around my own breasts. It was actually a very subtle amount of cleavage that was being exposed, but I still felt shame about simply having a womanly body that attracted so much attention. I could feel myself becoming stiff and contracted. I was unconsciously minimizing my breasts, and shrinking myself.
I like to take special notice of these kinds of feelings when I have them because this is the kind of thing that women are doing ALL THE TIME, and we are giving away our power when we do this, yet most of the time it is completely automatic and unconscious.
There is a feminine denying energy current which is conditioning the space in which we live and breathe everyday, and this has damaging effects on our psyche, and our ability to show up feeling free and confident in our bodies and our spirits.
I've been so conscious of loving my body, and this is what I help women with every day in my work, yet there are certain moments when I see that the cultural conditioning still affects me.
Yes- even me!
When I became conscious of these thoughts, I realized that these weren't actually my authentic feelings. I was just absorbing and circulating the unconscious cultural matrix of shame around sexuality, and women's bodies. I traced the feelings I was having back to the original sin of woman, and the story of Eve tempting Adam with the apple. I felt like I was being a bad girl by allowing my breasts to be admired or receive attention. SHAME on me!
And then I thought, "F*% that! I am proud to be a woman. I have breasts, and I love having them. I'm going to take back my right to enjoy my body!"
So I started reciting a mantra in my head
"I Am a Woman
I Have Breasts
Breasts are Beautiful
I Love being a Woman"
And I kept repeating it over and over inside as I rode down the street.
And I noticed that my whole body softened. I almost instantaneously became relaxed, and the joy and flow came back.
Repeating these words was entraining me to a deeper level of love for my womanhood, and my body. I also felt that I energetically was helping to heal the global wound of shame towards the feminine by proudly and consciously claiming my feminine self.
And I noticed too that I was able to receive the positive energy and attention from those around me, and felt less interested in tuning into the shameful feelings that others might project onto my body. I also noticed that because of the enormous love for my body I was experiencing, the attention I was receiving from others felt very respectful and honoring towards me.
Why don't you try this mantra for yourself, and see what happens? As you are walking around in your day, breathe deeply into your breasts and say the mantra to yourself internally.
You can also try the breast massage that I suggested in the newsletter a few months ago, and say the words out loud as you massage oil into your breasts.
Or play with creating an entirely new version of this mantra which feels specific to your own relationship to your body and your womanhood. Maybe yours is focused on your womanly hips and thighs, or your juicy bottom.
-And share it with me!
Ultimately, if the feminine is going to come into balance globally, it's our responsibility as individual women, to heal our own internal judgements, conflicts, and shame regarding our femininity, our curves, and our bodies.
On the microcosmic level, as we love and appreciate the feminine in ourselves, the energy of this love raises the vibration for the whole world.
If we as women are un-accepting, and unloving towards our bodies, and hold shame and judgement, it doesn't matter how much we stand for feminine power, or women's rights. We are neglecting the feminine in our own back yard.
So hold your breasts proudly as you move through your day!
PS (I want to acknowledge that, the other side of the shame is the exploitation of the breast. There is also a tendency in our culture to highlight breasts in a way that is objectifying and disempowering. Sometimes body confidence and self objectification can be confusing to disentangle. I will touch on this in an upcoming newsletter focused on the difference in being sexy and being a sex object. Stay tuned!)